Relaxing after a Family Constellation

About Family Constellation

"Every family has a strong inner bond, regardless of what it looks like on the outside, and regardless of whether the family members feel it or know it. Children carry the burdens and energies from their family with them.............. Everything which is suppressed by the family does not dissolve into thin air but rather it 'floats' around within the system.
The newer family members - namely the children - feel this energy, receive it and live it out. They are then 'entangled' by their ancestors, meaning that they take over their behaviours, feelings, and fates."

From ‘You can't have wings if you don't have roots’ by Bertold Ulsamer

Family Constellation is the name of the process that Bert Hellinger developed. As practised by Sarasi, the Constellation itself is the arrangement, in the middle of the session room, of fellow-participants selected by the Client to represent key members of his family, including himself. The Representatives are seen to be standing in a pattern, a Constellation, that visibly (and energetically) expresses the structure and interrelationships of that family, as experienced by the Client.

To witness this is impressively revealing to the Client, who by now is sitting back to watch the unfolding. But even more extraordinary is that the Representatives begin to experience physical sensations and movements, emotional feelings and energetic impulses. They seem to standing 'in the shoes of' the person, perhaps long dead, that they are representing. If a Representative can't feel anything - this isn't working" - well, that's exactly how it was for the family member that he's representing!

The Orders of Love

Sarasi Rogers adds to her own intuition the wisdom of her training. Bert Hellinger distilled some truths about human family function, the Orders of Love, which define the proper roles and responsibilities that should rule, within and between generations in a family. Thus, a son may find himself standing shoulder-to-shoulder with his mother, because the father is weak or absent; whereas his proper place is kneeling with his siblings, his parents standing close behind, maybe resting a protective hand on his head.

So Sarasi gently moves the Representatives into new positions, suggesting 'Healing Words' and gestures, to progressively attune the Constellation to the Orders of Love. The Participants may find themselves modifying the words or gestures, until everyone can suddenly hear the ring of precise Truth.

The (guilt-haunted) child stands before the mother, bows deeply to her, and says 'You died at my birth. I thank you for my life, and I accept it at this price'. The mother then says to the child "It is my risk as a mother, and I carry it. It is my death, and I carry it. Do something good with your life, so my death was not for nothing." Suddenly, the child is able to look up and feel and accept the love of the mother.

Eventually, the Client, who's been sitting back, just absorbing, is invited to step into his own Constellation, replacing the fellow-participant who's been representing them.

Participants report that over the following months, their real family members, who have no idea that they've been Represented in any process, start to feel the resolution too. The Knowing Field again!