Lost Voices

Constellations offer a healing forgiving place to the wounds not only of our own childhood, but also of our family system, and maybe even deeper, to start unwinding the ever-accumulating traumas of national and tribal history.

A client of mine in his 50s discovers that he is Jewish. Not only had his family changed their name and religion, but had hidden their whole identity in order to survive.

Constellations offer a healing forgiving place to the wounds not only of our own childhood, but also of our family system, and maybe even deeper, to start unwinding the ever-accumulating traumas of national and tribal history.

Adopted children, similarly cut off, struggle to make sense of who they are and how they fit in, and frequently doubt their legitimacy. Their sense of belonging easily shatters.

Family Constellation offers a rare opportunity to place those missing ancestors there in the room, their voices heard, their lives and feelings acknowledged, because all they wish for is that their descendents can become free.

Frequently, even before the Constellation happens, vital pieces of information come to light. One client, suffering from insomnia, gathering information for his Constellation, discovers that his grandfather was buried alive in the trenches of WW1. Family secrets seem all-too-grateful to be invited out into the light.

Sometimes just signing up for a Constellation sets the ball rolling. One participant, the day after signing up for the workshop, gets a letter from relatives in Jamaica, who she’d had no contact with, inviting her to a family reunion.

So often I’ve witnessed Constellations being a springboard to rebuilding those lost and broken relationships.

Often simply opening the door to the voices being heard, and the whole story being told, is enough. Especially when that can be done in a way that is non-judgmental, coming out of love.

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